so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
