Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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