my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
