people are starting to question the shark bite story
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
