weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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