i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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