i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
