So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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