How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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