I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
