I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
