Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
