Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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