I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
