I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
