Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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