remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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