so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize