I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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