Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
