She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
