No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
