you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
