your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This baby is an asshole
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
