Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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