he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
