Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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