can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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