I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
