fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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