Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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