He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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