I faked an abortion last night.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
false alarm, still single
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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