Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize