Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Shame is for Republicans.
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