GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
