He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
