I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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