The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
