Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
it hurts more in the daytime
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
