it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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