Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
