you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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