I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
