do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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