I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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