Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him