Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
