She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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