So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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