You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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