you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
