Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
