I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
