i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
