Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
