Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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