I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize