oh god the rape fog is back!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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