meet me or not, i'm out of control
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
