i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
