They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My penis needs a shock collar
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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