He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
